Jill Duggar shares advice for people in abusive relationships

Jill Duggar is speaking out about abusive relationships on social media.

The 28-year-old, who herself was abused by her older brother Josh when she was a little girl, took to Instagram on Thursday to write about a friend’s abusive relationship with a romantic partner — and she went on to share a warning for other women who might be in similar situations.

‘A friend of mine recently shared on social media her story as a victim of abuse,’ Jill wrote. ‘Thankfully she made it out of the harmful relationship alive!’ 

Intriguing… Jill Duggar shared a series of Instagram stories on Thursday talking about abusive relationships

Real talk: The 28-year-old said a friend recently shared a story about being a victim of abuse

Delving in: Jill also shared some statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Though Jill didn’t share any more information about her friend or the situation the other woman found herself in, she did use the opportunity to dive into the subject of abusive partners.

‘Did you know? 1 in 3 women & 1 in 4 men have experienced some sort of physical violence by an intimate partner,’ she wrote.

‘This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered “domestic violence.”‘ 

Jill copied the statistics and quote from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).

She also shared a post from the account @understandingthenarc, which is about understanding narcissistic abuse. 

Scary: Jill shared another quote from the NCADV: ‘Did you know “leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence’

Bad guys: She also shared a checklist for ‘sociopaths,’ though it’s unclear if the list comes from a scientific source

Personal touch: She also shared a highlighted passage from her bible

Help: Finally, she shared a link to a piece on the NCADV website on ‘why victims stay’

The post is a checklist titled ‘Is your partner a sociopath?’ and includes a list of warning signs, though it’s unclear if the warning signs come from a reliable scientific source.

Those warning signs include a partner who was head-over-heels early in the relationship and has charisma and charm, sexual magnetism, and magnetic energy — but now shows a ‘Jekyll and Hyde personality.’

The person might also hurt his or her partner and then act like it never happened, cheat, and show no empathy or remorse.

Jill went on to share a quote from the bible, followed by another quote from the NCADV: ‘Did you know “leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence.’

Finally, she shared a link to a piece on the NCADV website on ‘why victims stay.’ 

Her hubby: Jill, 28, is married to Derick Dillard, 30, and the two recently celebrated a five-year anniversary

Mwah! The two are very into PDA, even though they didn’t share their first kiss until marriage

sex-crazed: Jill also recently gave marriage advice, which included having lots of sex and wearing sexy lingerie

Don’t stay: Her marriage guide also told women in abusive relationships to get help

Though Jill’s advice and willingness to address the subject might be surprising to fans, it’s not the first time she had discussed the issue.

In June, she wrote a blog post in which she gave her most helpful marriage advice. Much of the advice pertained to sex, with Jill urging wives to have sex with their husbands at least three or four times a week.

She also warned against masturbation, suggested rubbing scented lotion on in front of one’s husband, and advised wives to buy sexy lingerie.

But her guide also included a few words on abuse. 

‘If you are in an abusive relationship, do NOT stay!’ she wrote. ‘Report immediately to the authorities, get help and find a safe place to stay and get counseling from a licensed christian counselor!’ 

Her advice on the matter stands out in light of her family’s own public scandals. 

In the summer of 2015, InTouch magazine unearthed reports that oldest brother Josh, now 31, had molested four of his younger sisters and a fifth child back when he was a teenager.  

Family planning: The couple has two children, a four-year-old named Israel and a one-year-old named Samuel

The devil’s doing! She also said not to fulfill one’s sexual needs alone — meaning, don’t masturbate 

Josh had admitted to his parents in 2002 that he touched the breast area and genitals of the other children, including sisters Jill and Jessa, several times. Josh went to Christian counseling for several months as a result.

After the news came to light, TLC cancelled the Duggars’ show, 19 Kids and Counting — which has since been resurrected under a new name, Counting On.

But it was only the first of the scandals. That same summer — just a month after Josh and Anna welcomed their fourth child, Marcus — a hacker released user information for the adultery website ashley madison and Josh was found among those who had used the services.

His profile included interests like ‘one-night stands and ‘experimenting with sex toys.’

Josh admitted publicly to infidelity and having a porn addiction, calling himself ‘the biggest hypocrite ever’ in a statement. 

‘While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife,’ he wrote. 

Elephant in the room: Jill’s post made no mention of her older brother Josh, who was unfaithful to his wife Anna and also molested his younger sisters when he was a teen 

Little: Anna and Josh married back in 2008 when she was just 20 years old, and they’re now expecting their sixth kid

Dual sex scandals: Anna has publicly forgiven Josh, who led a double life with an account on the adultery website ashley madison

‘I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.’

Anna famously stuck by him, moving into his parents’ house with their children while Josh sought out more Christian counseling treatment. They are now expecting their sixth child.

While Josh’s abuse of his younger sisters appears to be much different than the type of abuse Jill was addressing in her latest Instagram posts, it does seem she has formed strong opinions on all types of abusive behavior.

She’s been one of only two of Josh’s victims to speak out after the news came to light, talking to Megyn Kelly alongside her sister Jessa.

Interestingly, though, the two young women defended Josh.

Jill, who was 12 when the inappropriate touching took place, recalled feeling ‘sad’ and ‘shocked’ at the revelation, explaining that she thought, ‘This is my older brother whom I love, a lot.’ 

Difficult times: Jill and Jessa were the only two of Josh’s five reported victims to speak out in the wake of the scandal

In tears: Jill cried as she talked about it — but it wasn’t Josh that had her so upset, she said

Feeling the pain: She said she felt ‘re-victimized’ when the tabloid drudged up their old family history 

Yet they largely downplayed what went on between themselves and their older brother, calling the inappropriate touching ‘subtle’ and ‘mild.’

‘It wasn’t like a horror story or this terrible thing,’ Jessa insisted in the interview, as both stressed they’d dealt with the trauma and put it behind them a long time ago.

Jessa also pointed out that she know ‘so many girls who go through things way worse.’

‘I do want to speak up in his defense against people who are calling him a child molester or a pedophile or a rapist, some people are saying,’ she said.

‘I’m like, that is so overboard and a lie, really. I mean, people get mad at me for saying that but I am like, I can say this, you know? I was one of the victims.’

The girls did not entirely excuse their brother’s actions, however, though even when they did point out a negative behavior the pair seemed too quickly find a way to explain or justify his actions. 

Comparisons: The young women agreed that having their dirty laundry splashed over magazine covers was ‘a thousand times worse’ than the abuse itself  

Past is past? Jill hasn’t discussed her own abuse at the hands of her brother since the TV interview

‘Josh was a boy, a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls,’ explained Jessa. 

‘And that got him into some trouble. And he made some bad choices, but, really, the extent of it was mild — inappropriate touching on fully clothed victims, most of it while [the] girls were sleeping.’

In fact, Jill appeared to be much more upset that the news came out and was being covered by the media, breaking down in tears as she complained about the attention.

‘I see it as a re-victimization. I see it as a thousand times worse [than the act].’ she said.   

 

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